A Hero Or A Ninja
by Tempus Fugit Ninety-Five
Summary: Alfred wanted to be a hero. Madeline wanted to be seen. Lise wanted to teach. Sakura wanted the boy. Gilbert wanted to find what he lost. Deidara wanted a home. Ino didn't know what she wanted. All those wants combine. Extreme AU. Dead Characters alive.


**AN: This is a belated gift for my brother who requested this fanfiction. He chose the pairings and the rather odd plot, but what the heck. Happy Birthday/Merry Late Christmas Jacob.**

**CHARACTER NAME GUIDE:**

**Alfred - America**

**Madeline - Fem!Canada**

**Arthur - England**

**Lars - Netherlands**

**Emma - Luxemberg**

**Ludwig - Germany**

**Feliciano - Italy**

**Lovino - Romano**

**Kiku - Japan**

**Elizabeta - Hungary**

**Yekaterina - Ukraine**

* * *

><p><strong>A Hero Or A Ninja<br>**

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><strong>

**Chapter One:**

**Assingments  
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The classroom buzzed with excitement and chatter. There was the traditional bickering, flirtation, and occasional good behavior and quiet that characterized the Shinobi classrooms of Konohagakure, but this day it was slightly different. There was an undercurrent of breathless excitement. A look in the young eyes of the students who now wore their freshly won _Hitai-ates_. A particular way the students kept glancing at the door expectantly. A certain camaraderie and sense of achievement. They all knew what they'd done. What they'd accomplished after their years of schooling. They were official Konoha Shinobi. The few and the proud.

And now they would be given their first assignments.

"Brother should you really be making fun of Uchiha-san so much? I mean you accidentally kissed—" a soft faced blonde girl began, looking at her elder brother with wide pleading purple eyes.

"We agreed never to mention that again!" the other blonde hissed, blue eyes wide and horrified at the mention of one of his most humiliating and hated memories. Any of the obnoxious laughter from moments before was simply gone.

The blonde girl frowned. "But Alfred—"

"Ever again _Maddie_!" Alfred said shrilly, catching the attention of a few of their neighbors, but seeing who it was they shrugged it off and went back to playing Hang Man.

Madeline Hatake went silent, but gave her brother a deceptively sweet look. Alfred knew the inner evil that existed in his shy sister and recognized the sly glint in her eyes. He repressed a groan. He hated it when scary Maddie came out, but if she wasn't so protective of that damn Uchiha!

"So you won't tease him about it?" Madeline questioned quietly.

"Fine." Alfred agreed. Anything to never be reminded of the Incident at his birthday last year. Madeline didn't relax.

"Or Naruto-kun?"

"Oh, come one Maddie! Can't I have a let fun?" the blonde whined giving his sister the best puppy dog eyes he could manage. Madeline was unimpressed having grown resistant to her brother's dubious charms, pouting, and whining over the long, long years of being his twin.

"Alfred."

"Alright, I won't tease Naruto." Madeline gave him a pointed look. "Or the Uchiha. God, Maddie sometimes I think you're becoming an Uchitard."

Alfred froze and gave his sister a suspicious look.

"You don't like him right? Totally platonic?"

"Alfred you're being silly."

"That's not a no. Maddie, please not you too!"

"I am not talking to you while you're being an idiot."

"Is it because I haven't been attentive enough? Is that it? Have I been a bad brother? Is that why you've gone to the dark side?"

"Moron."

"I have done something! Shit what is it? I promise I'll do better, because you and Naruto are the only two who have any chance getting in his shorts. Well maybe that cutie Hinata. 'Cause I'm pretty sure he only goes for people who aren't stalking him. But I really don't want him as an in-law—"

"Alfred."

"—I mean I could understand Shikamaru or heck why not Kiba? We give him a flea bath and he might even be presentable enough to bring home. But Uchiha? I mean really sis I thought you had taste. He's way too pretty—"

"Alfred!"

"—I really don't get it. He looks like a girl, a really pretty girl. And what girl wants to date a boy prettier than she is. Oh God, that's it isn't it. The reason that all the girls like him. They're all lesbians. My sister's a lesbian. Oh what not that I'm freaking out or anything. I'm totally cool with you dating girls—"

"_Alfred!_"

"—Sure I wanted nieces and nephews, but I can live without them. Or heck we can get you a Baby Daddy. And besides if you get a cute little girlfriend you'll final have a life. This is a good thing! You'll final get a life and who knows if you're getting laid maybe you won't be so grumpy about me forgetting things so much! I mean how was I supposed to know I was obligated to get you a present just because it's your _birthday_. I mean it was my birthday to and you didn't get me, okay you _did_, but that's not the point."

"_ALFRED HATAKE!"  
><em>

Alfred paused and turned to look at his sister curiously. The girl was bright red and panting looking like she wanted to die and kill him all at once. Alfred pursed his lips a little put out that he didn't get to continue his rant about how he was going to be a totally cool and supportive big brother about Madeline's life choices.

"Yes?" he asked suddenly remembering the talk with Arthur about listening to people. Clearly Madeline needed to express her gratitude about his total acceptance about her liking girls. He thought it was only right to allow her that release. It was healing.

"You are an idiot."

Alfred opened his mouth. Let me finish his sister snapped fiercely making Alfred remember who exactly had almost drowned him in the Uchiha Pond when they were six and he maybe, accidentally ruined her brand new dress by possibly setting it on fire while she was wearing it.

"I'm not gay, I don't like Uchiha-san, and Umino-sensei is here." Madeline told him. Alfred blinked and looked around.

The entire room was watching them. Most with amusement, others with boredom and some with a very obvious desire to kill him. This included all the Uchitards, Sasuke Uchiha himself, and a very offended Kiba, who was being held back by the quiet pleadings of a pink faced Hinata Hyuuga. At the front of the class stood Iruka Umino who looked torn between laughter and the urge to scold. Meanwhile in the back of the room Naruto, who'd been laughing loudly at Alfred's rant finally connected the dots and realized what his fellow blonde had implied.

"I DO NOT LIKE THAT BASTARD! AND I DON'T WANT IN HIS PANTS! SHORTS, WHATEVER!"

**xXxXxXx**

"Morons." Lise Peeters muttered to herself as she watched Iruka try and break apart the fighting blondes. Beside her, one of the few fellow sane members of the classroom, Ludwig Beilschmidt nodded in agreement. Beside him, latched as always to his best friend's arm, Feliciano Vargas stirred a little from his nap he opened his bright amber eyes and stared up at Ludwig sleepily.

"Ve. What's going on Luddy?" the small boy asked, speech slurred with sleep. The intimidating blonde's face softened with affection and he gave a rare gentle smile.

"Nothing Feliciano. Go back to sleep." Ludwig told the smaller boy gently. Feliciano gave a sleepy nod and snuggled back into Ludwig's arms instantly out. The big blonde blushed prettily and Lise smiled widely.

She wished she had a picture. Elizabeta would love to see this. Then she heard a soft click in frontof her to the right. It was Kiku Honda, the remainder of the trio of friends, hastily hiding a camera. Lise met his eyes and he froze realizing he'd been caught. Lise gave a slow lascivious smile. _Copies._ She mouthed, and after a moment he gave a quick nod, before focusing on Iruka like nothing had happened.

Lise's smile widened thinking of her odd friend's reaction to the gift. She hadn't been able to see Elizabeta much since she'd become a Genin. At first it was because Lise was hurt by anything that reminded her of the fact that she was the only one in her class that had failed the test, but then it became lack of time. Now though, who knew maybe they could get a mission with Elizabeta's cell.

"From this day forward, you are no longer mere students of ninjutsu, but full-fledged Shinobi. But, among the ranks of the Shinobi, you are mere novices, lowest of the low. Your greatest challenges all lie ahead." Iruka explained with a small smile. Lise looked at the teacher fondly. She'd always liked him and would be a little sad not to see him anymore, but if her life plans went the way she intended she'd be back here soon. Teaching the next generation. Lise smiled widely at the thought of her future.

"The next step is the assignment of official duties to all of you on behalf of the village. We will begin by dividing you into three-man cells. Each of which will be mentored by a Jonin, a more senior ninja who will guide and coach you as you become familiar with your various assignments. I made the selections so each cell's abilities would be approximately equal."

Lise nodded as her classmates, now fellow Genin, freaked out over who they'd be paired with. Her brother had told her pretty much the same thing the night before, but Lars had been damnable quiet about who exactly she was teamed with. Even little Emma's coercing didn't get the information out of their brother like it usual did. The Chunin just sat back with a smile knowing how much secrets annoyed his nosy little sister.

"Cell three. Arthur Hatake. Lovino Vargas."

"Bloody hell!" the normal sullen quiet blonde cursed surprising them all. Well, almost all of them, his siblings looked unimpressed and Lise herself knew better.

"Fuck, Eyebrows." the surly brunette growled surprising no one.

Iruka gave them a dark look, which shut up both boys.

"_And_ Yekaterina Braginskaya." Iruka finished.

Simultaneously both boys turned to look at the older busty girl they'd been put with, with a look of undisguised shock. Katyusha smiled at the shyly and their expressions melted into delight. Lovino looked almost suave as he returned the smile and the oddly sexy smirk on Arthur face reminded Lise suddenly of a very passionate, very fun game of Seven Minutes In Heaven at a Halloween party last year. She certainly hadn't expected to find out Arthur was sexy, much less dark and pirate-like sexy. She'd really enjoyed that costume, ruffled shirts and all. Lise wasn't worried about her friend though, Katyusha could take care of herself better than anyone suspected.

Taking advantage of the silence Iruka continued.

"Team four. Hatake Madeline. Hatake Alfred."

Yet again Iruka was interrupted this time by a loud scream of triumph and a quiet sound of despair Lise recognized as a sound only a younger sister could make when they realized they were really and truly stuck with their idiot brothers for life. Not a big surprise though. Nobody would want to break up the twins. They'd only been paired up once during their schooling about a month ago when they did a Battle Royal type test to see how the students would do. Mizuki, the teacher covering it, had discovered that nobody had ever paired the twins up, so they wouldn't get used to relying on each other, and decided to give it a try. They'd beaten everyone.

It had been a pretty big shock. Madeline had always been too timid to do much damage and Alfred took too many risks and made stupid mistakes. But together it was almost scary. Madeline took confidence from her brother needing her and Alfred curbed his wild tendencies to make sure his sister didn't get hurt. Lise could still remember the shock on Sasuke Uchiha's face when little Madeline nailed him. A real thing of beauty. It had almost been worth losing to that ass Alfred to see her 'partner' get taken down by the quiet little blonde.

"And Lise Peeters."

"What?" Lise hissed heart stopping. Iruka looked at her surprised. Apparently he hadn't suspected this reaction.

"Lise?" he questioned clearly confused. Lise though stood so furious she was shaking, she wasn't the only one. Alfred was pointedly quiet, sitting stiff as a board.

"Why the _hell_ would you put me with that idiot?" Lise snarled not bothering to hold back her emotions. The room went silent. Alfred looked up at her with an expression that would have shock Lise. Before that is.

"Now, now tell us how you really feel." he snarled expression dark. The classroom gaped in shock. Alfred was loud, annoying, and a whiner, but he had never looked like this. To them at least.

"Fine." Lise snapped eyes blazing. "I don't want to be with a clueless buffoon who's a sorry ass excuse for a Shinobi and his neurotic sister."

Alfred was on his feet eyes murderous. Iruka opened his mouth ready to intervene.

"Oh, shut up you great whore. You slept with my brother not me, so don't expect me to treat you like the lady you aren't."

Lise went for his throat.


End file.
